I don't exactly know where to start. This forum was recommended to me.
I'm here for fellowship, and some help in figuring out the purpose of the last 8 years of my life. At age 22, in 2002.. I had an awakening experience. It was 2/2/2002, and I was 22 years hold. This date had helped me to realize just how deep it goes, and has almost validated my whole experience.
It's quite a long story, and very complicated. But from reading several post here already, I'm sure there are minds here that can understand and help me out. I was fresh out of college. Pretty much a frat boy who had gain LOTs of attention in school. I had to leave, and entered a deep depression. During this depression I'd decided that (for some reason) I wasn't going to 'hell' and that I mind as well become 'perfect'. I'd figured that 'origonal sin' was a lie, and person could be 'perfect' according to the Bible.
This triggered a ritual and I'd decided to go to the Bible and turn to a random page and trust that God would speak to me through whatever chapter I landed on. I turned randomly to Jeremiah and it said..."
The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."This made me feel like I was in some sort of matrix, and that 'god' WAS talking to me. When I realized this I got on my knees and asked for forgiveness for every 'bad' deed and tried to remember everything in my life in which I felt I did something wrong. At the end of this 'breakdown' I felt a strange orgasmic feeling. Then I proceeded to read the rest of the book. After that I passed out. And woke up in a world where EVERYTHING was now talking to me. I've come to know it as synchromysticm. Music and movies played an important role in tunning these messages. And my life has never been the same since. I'm JUST NOW seeing videos that explain it.
Over the past eight years I've struggled with this new world. I've experienced great joy, and great terror. I felt like my soul was a light body and could travel anywhere at anytime. Everything I was taught has been destroyed, and this has changed the whole make-up of my being. I awoke to find everyone around me in a 'sleep state' that was very disturbing. And with the idea that everyone was living a lie. I struggled with this, and continue to. Over time I've just gotten used to the idea, but my experiences have gotten stronger and so complicated that I've felt there would NEVER be anyone on earth who understand, and I've been waiting for some alien type force to come and rescue me from this 'hell'. I've had endless awakenings. My mind has split so much that I've felt like I was (at one time) millions of copies of my self doing different things at different times in different realms. And I've felt like I've had to 'anchor' myself into this reality. Usually through finding someone to love (and she has to be very pretty for it to work..lol). If I didn't have this 'anchor' I feared that I would get lost in this 'new reality'. Finding 'love' has helped me go back to 'sleep' long enough for me to operate successfully in this system of control.
I'm looking for a group that understands and can help me adjust to this new experience. Its been 8 years and I've met some very interesting and strange characters along the way, but this has only made things more complex.
I've met Sophia Stewart (origional author of 'The Matrix'), Jay Z and Beyonce through my endeavors in the music business. A man pretending (I think) to be a Rothschild and for three years fed me information on different 'densities', secret societies, love, quantum mechanics stuff, and stuff too strange to talk about. There have been others as well. At a point I felt that I was part of some experiement into human consciousness... at others that I was a mind controlled human robot... all the way down to the point where I thought aliens were 'monitoring' my light body and fixing it up as it broke down. I still believe this (in a way) because my awakening experiences have become more pleasant and infinate along the way. It is too the point where I'm completely comfortable with the idea of 'living in eternity' and being part of an 'infite' lifestyle. This lead to me 'later' feelingn like I contacted beings who claimed to be 'immortal'.
On another level I'd previously felt I was 'working' for a reptilian group of 'light beings' who manipulated language and use it to control us.... and they also control light and all digital projections, and can 'move' through this light and take any form on this material realm. Even statues. (It gets complicated).
In my mind I'd split into a multitude of personalities that eventually overwhelmed them. At this time my experiences became more pleasant and this 'Hell' that I was origionally was banished to became sort of a heaven, making the actual heaven experiece even more 'pleasurable'. In my defense against the fears and pains of this hell, I programmed myself to enjoy it. Even down to feeling like I was taken up by aliens and experimented on in horrible ways. All laughable and funny to me now.
There is much more to the story, and I look forward to meeting everybody here and hopefully getting some help from Jason Horsely. Thanks
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
let'r rip man...